rasa benci yang membuak-buak
tapi aku relakan juga
rasa seperti najis yang berkuman dan berkulat
tapi ia tetap tidak dihiraukan
rasa seperti lembu yang bodoh
yang di cucur hidung yang di suruh kesana kemari
dan sebenarnya, kau memang tidak ambil peduli
walau aku tatang minyak yang penuh
tapi kau biarkan ia sedikit demi sedikit menitik ke tanah
dan biarkan ia menjadi ringan
dan ia akan mungkin hilang
aku benci mengingatkan banda yang lampau
apa yang penah mencengkam ulu hati
merasa di toreh, di kikis dengan tajam dan kuat !
yang sudah lama kau tinggalkan
dan tiba kau jilat untuk merasa manisnya.
aku benci !
aku benci bermain emosi !
Friday, October 14, 2011
it hurts when I have to let go the things I really love..
it hurts when I have to lose something that I really want..
it hurts, Allah…
but believe me, Ya Allah..
I will feel hurt most when I know disobey You..
it hurt most, Allah..
I realize that I can never live without Your mercy..
I realize that I can never smile without the concious that You are pleased with me..
I realize that I can never lead my life if You are unhappy with me..
I am sorry..
I am really really sorry..
For I have neglected You for long time..
For I have loved others more than I should love You..
For I have prioritized others more than I should..
You still gives me food to eat.. when I am not supposed to eat what I shouldn't eat
You still gives me eyes to see.. when I am not supposed to see what I shouldn't see
You still gives me ears to hear.. when I am not supposed to hear what I shouldn't hear
You still gives me skin to touch.. when I am not supposed to touch what I shouldn't touch
You still give the air I'm breathing now.. when I have done tonnes of mistakes..
How can someone not fall for You??
You are very nice Ya Allah..
You are very kind Ya Allah..
You are great Ya Allah..
but I forget..
I'm so occupied with this world..
I'm so busy with my life..
I'm so so so busy about myself..
I can never forgive myself if this were to happen again..
how can I do that to You Allah…I'm such an arrogant slave..
I'm not thankful to You…
I feel embarrased Ya Allah..I'm embarrased…Ya Allah!
but please Ya Allah…
soon ONE DAY I will be meeting You YA ALLAH!
FORGIVE me on that day YA ALLAH
HAVE MERCY on that day YA ALLAH
SHOWER YOUR BLESSINGS on that day YA ALLAH
THAT is my only WISH...YA ALLAH!
Posted by CYY at 11:00 PM